Losing Life

I love, I lose, I live, I hurt, I cry, I do everything a normal person may do, but the one thing I want people not to see about me... Is of how I am trying to lose my life. I can't deal with having people walk away. It becomes hard to continue with the days. I need special people in my life. The ones I love, always and forever will need. But when I tell people these things of my emotions of losing and loving all people can say is.... so what do you want me to do about it? NO!! Thats not what I'm saying! Understand me. I never asked you for help or your sarcasm, but what I do need is for you to stop being an ass and hold me, support me, make me feel loved for as those who walked out I can't love anymore. But thee one telling all emotions running through thy's mind needs to love one and one needs to love thy. For I now state I can no longer live life without ones I love. Because of those days since I lost those special people I hurt. So now I try over and over to lose my life. I have secret scars on my wrist showing how I let the blood flow when I'm a mix of emotions. The stress takes over my body, I begin to give into the blade on my table. I grab the sharp object, head for the bathroom, let the water run, get it soak my body in hot pooling water, and then I do it. The blood flows, as the stress, anger, tears, and pain flow out into the water. The clear water becomes a pool of blood surrounding me. I slide under and stay. When I retrieve myself for under the world, I let it go, clean up and continue on with the day........ as if nothing happened.