All I have Left

Please know, you're all I have left. Once you leave my heart, and soul are gone too. I can't figure out how to tell you, you mean the world to me. I want you to know that, my life is different when you don't bother me, pick on me, ignore me, fight with me, help me fight my battles. It's all different. You're not around, you don't tell me how to behave in front of guests, you don't tell me to stop embarrassing myself, you won't be able to be the first one on scene when I get called into the principals office for starting a fight. If we can't try and make peace now, before you leave, it won't be the same, and I don't think I can find another guardian angel like you. I hope that in the end after we make up or hate each other more, if you leave or stay, if we talk or don't, if you love me or not, that we still will have each other's back's even if we don't wanna admit we do. Thank you for being there when I needed you, now I hope I can be there for you, when you need someone the most.

My Get Away.

I open the door to my secret get away,
Peer in and grin.
Shut the door in a hushed manner, tip toe back to the living room.
Grab a glass, a coke bottle, an ice tray, and a bottle of rum.
With my gear in hand, I head back to my second life.
Thinking of the peace, I take a front row seat, and mix a drink.
Shut my eyes, to see the life I wish I had. Tilt my head back, to shake the bad life out, and take a sip.
Inhale the manner of my great life, and exhale the manner of the life I wish I never had.
Sitting there hoping I could share this moment with someone I care for.
Yet this moment is best celebrated alone.
I understand the meaning of having a life,
And the meaning of having a life everyone one wishes they had.
Yet in this situation, I want to make my own life,
Make my own luck,
Make my own dreams,
Make my own wishes,
Make my own moments.
I want.... to be my own person. I down the rest of my drink,
to the very end, till there is no coke, no ice, no rum left.
I smile, and know that I still have a life ahead of me...
I can  make a difference, if not in my life,
Then in one others life.
I'm brought back to reality, then begin on making my dream.

Needing To Get Away

I'm needing to get away. To go to a place where I can be me. But in this psycho world I can't be me. I try and try to be the one person I wanna be that will make me happy for me. That one person is... ME! But I can't live up to everyone's standards and be me at the same time!! Why can't anyone get that? Can anyone get what I'm trying to say? I can make it some what easier for you to understand. I want to be me but if I try that then no one will love me and care....... Even I would hate myself. So I continue on with the day, with a new mask to match the people I'm around, pleasing them, making them happy, while underneath that mask I have the real look, the real me, the real person I want to be. But in the end its all the lies, and people I'll disappoint in the end if I please myself and not everyone else. So really I can't get away. Even then my dreams are being controlled, turning into things I don't wanna dream about, think about, or even talk about. But theres no other choice, besides putting on a new mask each day and continue living THEIR lives.