How We Became

You, our friends and I all on your couch talking enjoying the night. I walked over to the bar and grabbed the vodka. We all sat there joking, smiling and passing the bottle around, from one end of the couch to the other. Everyone's drunk and making love. You and I aren't even past the tipsy point, but we're loving each others company, each others touch. I lean over brushing my chest against your's and grab the bottle from the table. I look into your eyes and feel the warmth from your stare, and swing my leg over so that I'm sitting in your lap. The bottle of vodka in one hand, and your chest in the other. I take in more then I expected, drinking half of whats left... feeling the burning in my throat. Gently with one hand you take the bottle from me and with the other hand you put it around my waist pulling me close. You drink the rest of what I left, and toss the bottle on the floor. You bring your hand to mine then bring it up to your chest and whisper, "My heart beats like a murderer on a killing rampage, my heart only beats for you, and my lips will only kiss yours." Then you pull me closer and softly kiss me on my lips.
Pleasure, Beauty, Intense, Gentle,
I pull away slowly asking myself what I am doing but my body and mind have a plan but aren't letting me in on it expecting me to ruin it all. I look back into your eyes and you hold me closer then ever and with such a passion, kiss me until my lips are numb... I want more but my heart is afraid of the heart break, of the tears, of having to deal with a player, but I can't resist. You stand up with me still on your chest and my legs wrapped around your waist, rush into the bedroom across the hall, you gently close the door and toss me on the nicely made bed, I can't help but giggle. You walk over and kiss me all over, taking off my shirt as I take off yours. You lean against me..... chest against chest, forehead to forehead, staring into my eyes, breathing heavy. You kiss me again and again, over and over. Letting your hand slide down my chest, you stop at my waist and pull me over to you... and say "Will you be the only girl that I call my girlfriend? The one who I can't stop texting for longer then 2 minutes? The only girl I want to have her bare chest against mine? The only lips I can kiss? Will you be all those things and more?" What else was there to say besides yes. There, in your arms, chest against chest, we fall asleep, and when I wake up, you tell me in a whisper that you love me and lean over and kiss me like mad. At that point I knew that you weren't after the sex, you were after my love.... and I willingly, with lust... gave it all to you.

All I have Left

Please know, you're all I have left. Once you leave my heart, and soul are gone too. I can't figure out how to tell you, you mean the world to me. I want you to know that, my life is different when you don't bother me, pick on me, ignore me, fight with me, help me fight my battles. It's all different. You're not around, you don't tell me how to behave in front of guests, you don't tell me to stop embarrassing myself, you won't be able to be the first one on scene when I get called into the principals office for starting a fight. If we can't try and make peace now, before you leave, it won't be the same, and I don't think I can find another guardian angel like you. I hope that in the end after we make up or hate each other more, if you leave or stay, if we talk or don't, if you love me or not, that we still will have each other's back's even if we don't wanna admit we do. Thank you for being there when I needed you, now I hope I can be there for you, when you need someone the most.

Help Me Remember

It hurts to see that I love you, but we can never be. Your from one world I'm from another. I would come to you with any problem, and you would be there for me. You  would come to me for whatever reason, and I'd let you cry on my shoulder. I know you need me, and you know I need you. I can't get over how close we were, and how far we've separated, theres this huge gap between us and no matter how hard we try we can't seal it off or at least bring it back together. You left right when the sun rose, we didn't even have a chance to talk about it. I just want to remember how we were before and how much I loved you, and how close we were! Just for one night can't we be the same as we had been back then? Help me remember use before. Help me remember it all. I want those days that we were still a couple yet best friends. I miss you, on those days we had our moments and nothing else mattered. Help me remember it all. The true us, the real life, before we split, when I was loving you and when you were loving me. Help Me Remember...

My Get Away.

I open the door to my secret get away,
Peer in and grin.
Shut the door in a hushed manner, tip toe back to the living room.
Grab a glass, a coke bottle, an ice tray, and a bottle of rum.
With my gear in hand, I head back to my second life.
Thinking of the peace, I take a front row seat, and mix a drink.
Shut my eyes, to see the life I wish I had. Tilt my head back, to shake the bad life out, and take a sip.
Inhale the manner of my great life, and exhale the manner of the life I wish I never had.
Sitting there hoping I could share this moment with someone I care for.
Yet this moment is best celebrated alone.
I understand the meaning of having a life,
And the meaning of having a life everyone one wishes they had.
Yet in this situation, I want to make my own life,
Make my own luck,
Make my own dreams,
Make my own wishes,
Make my own moments.
I want.... to be my own person. I down the rest of my drink,
to the very end, till there is no coke, no ice, no rum left.
I smile, and know that I still have a life ahead of me...
I can  make a difference, if not in my life,
Then in one others life.
I'm brought back to reality, then begin on making my dream.

Inspiration

I do what I do, not to please you or you, but to please me, myself and I.
I kiss who I wish, but do not tell.
I breathe for life, but rarely speak.
I don't like to stress, I'm free like a bird.
Once was cadged in, now let go.
My whole life was lived under rules,
Rules not made by me.
My life was controlled by people, that didn't understand my point of view to things.
Now I'm free, they saw me leave, they saw me grow, the see the place I'm in now, they see where I have gotten,
They have seen what I have done for myself.
But I will never regret all that I have done, I made mistakes, but learned from them and made more accomplishments.

Truth

My neck is stiff from turning my head,
My eyes are watery staring all the time,
My back hurts from turning away,
My heart aches from when you dropped and lost it,
Now I'm a puzzle with a few pieces missing,
I don't ever think I can forgive you,
For what you did that killed me,
Now I'm on my own, my things missing, my things hurting, my things dieing, my things disappearing...
But I know I'll still make it without you.

You Want...

You want me in your life and you want me to love you. But right now I'm sick of playing your games! I loved you and you knew that and you know that I still love you no matter what happens, you will always hold a special place in my heart and you can't be replaced. Yet you used how I felt about you, and took that and used it against me. You split my heart in two. But now that I think back on it maybe it's not so bad that you did that, because I just saved myself so much more of a heartbreak, even though I wish I was with you right now... in your arms, with your lips on mine, your hands around my waist, my chest against your chest. The funny thing is, even though we're over, every now and then you run back to me and the cycle repeats... and since we're over the pain is just a bit more fun because now we don't fell guilty with our pleasure. Always and Forever, our pleasure will remain between us too.

The World In True Form

Love is fake. Hate is real. Death happens all around. Life happens once. Tears fall everyday. Smiles surprise you. Strangers aper. But having the same feelings for you happen all the time. We had a thing, then lost each other. I had to break away from the one who put me together when I got hurt. The scars last forever. The pain occurs once in awhile. The heart break kills when I remember us before. The smiles at this moment are cover ups of my true pain. Life became a nightmare and we are all living in it, because we don't know how to get away from it, from the memories, from the good, from the bad, from it all. And we just sit and have everything rush back to us. Your naive, rude, selfish, conniving, ignorant, and spoiled. You wish to have everyone bow down at your feet but if such doesn't occur you, go wild with rage, your face boils, your eyes widen, and your fist's clench. So I left and the one your with now has been passed around like a dirty wash rag, used time and time again. And baby our relationship was like a ship hitting rocks, yet I was the best, most faithful, and hottest chick you ever had and ever will. In the end... I still love you. 

We Are All Victims

We are all victims. We can all be victims of love, hate, pleasure, life and death. Everything happens and changes for a reason. We die for a cause. We live for a cause. We smile for a cause. We love for a cause. But we don't decide who dies, who kills, and who survives. We are just the innocent bystanders as the ciaos unfolds. Some choose to stand there and watch people suffer. Others choose to take a stand and fight for the cause. And others just want to move on. Yet the one thing where we can't choose is who will walk away alive form the world, and walk into peace. The anger explodes out of us as we deal with it and walk on. We are all victims.

Difference

The ground, the sky, theres a difference.

The moon, the sun, theres a difference.

The night, the day, theres a difference.

With every two things theres a difference. Between me and you theres a difference. Yet the difference brings us together. I think, and know I can never let you go. The difference that me and you have makes me love you more, makes me want you more. We both walk on the ground together, and look at the sky together. We both wish we were on the moon together, and we both wish we could fly past the sun together. We walk through the night together, and we walk through the day together. Theres still a difference, your you and I'm me. But that difference makes you you and me me. The difference between everything in the world makes everything special in its own way.

Rainy Days

When it rains, it's a cloud of grey, that follows you beyond your mind can travel. It makes your trips worth wild and some making you wish you never left your nice warm bed under the toasty covers. But crying is part of how you feel most days it becomes nice to walk in the rain. As the drop lets fall on your cheeks and your tears roll down alongside the rain, the mixture of salt and water, calms the body down. You begin to feel as if the world feels you pain and cries with you. But to know that the world does feel your pain but its worse for the world and the crap it has to go through.

Love Lost

Without you, loves lost, I'm lost, hurt. Tears, Then joy. Because you become found once again. I'm no longer lost. But our love is. No clue how long it will take me to love you, and you to love me. How long till we forget love? How long till I can't stand you? Now I sit and wonder through the night how all these questions could be answered. Is it with you in my life? Or our love terminated forever?

Losing Life

I love, I lose, I live, I hurt, I cry, I do everything a normal person may do, but the one thing I want people not to see about me... Is of how I am trying to lose my life. I can't deal with having people walk away. It becomes hard to continue with the days. I need special people in my life. The ones I love, always and forever will need. But when I tell people these things of my emotions of losing and loving all people can say is.... so what do you want me to do about it? NO!! Thats not what I'm saying! Understand me. I never asked you for help or your sarcasm, but what I do need is for you to stop being an ass and hold me, support me, make me feel loved for as those who walked out I can't love anymore. But thee one telling all emotions running through thy's mind needs to love one and one needs to love thy. For I now state I can no longer live life without ones I love. Because of those days since I lost those special people I hurt. So now I try over and over to lose my life. I have secret scars on my wrist showing how I let the blood flow when I'm a mix of emotions. The stress takes over my body, I begin to give into the blade on my table. I grab the sharp object, head for the bathroom, let the water run, get it soak my body in hot pooling water, and then I do it. The blood flows, as the stress, anger, tears, and pain flow out into the water. The clear water becomes a pool of blood surrounding me. I slide under and stay. When I retrieve myself for under the world, I let it go, clean up and continue on with the day........ as if nothing happened.

Real World

There are fakes, there are real. There are ones that are loved, there are ones that are hated. There are The Good,  there are The Bad. But in the world we live in today we all are bad. There is no good soul that can be there 24/7 to love, to hold, to care, and to just be a hero to the world. Their only a hero for a moment or two, from when their time passes they begin to fade, to disappear, to be forgotten.... Because you are as important to another person as the world is important to them. They care for you as much as they care for other people unlike themselves. And if you think you're any different then babe you need a reality check. Because truth is no one, no one is gonna love you more than they love themselves if your lucky someone will love you more than them. But really you gotta love yourself to live, and move on in life.

Viewers

My Viewers,

Please do feel free to comment. Each response given can help me to be come a better writer. I hope you enjoy each "Art Of Life" that I have written. Please feel free to email me at ladyrock410@gmail.com.
Thank you so very much.

      -Ewa

The Real Me

I wanna be unknown. Left alone. I'm one who takes a shot to drink the pain away. The one who slit her wrist and sometimes still does just so the pain, the hate and every other damn thing can flow out her body like the blood she releases. I'm the girl that undiscovered, undecided. I'm the girl that all the out cast want to hang with because I'm open. I'm the girl that ALL the people want to be with. I'm the girl who had the guy she like beat her to shreds with his words and fits. I'm the girl who stared at her self in disgusts because she thinks shes ugly. I'm the girl that everyone thinks is pretty and cool. I'm the girl who wants to change for the better. I'm the girl with the life story that in the end you would die of a broken heart for. I'm the girl who can kill a cold hearted person with a cause of a broken heart. I'm the girl that almost committed suicide but was found and saved. I'm the girl who wishes she were dead. I'm the girl who starved herself to be thin. I'm the girl that all the boys wanted but she didn't understand why. I'm the girl with the family that doesn't love her. I'm the girl who can be a total bitch when needed. I'm the girl that wants to be who she really is and not some fake, plastic person. I'm the girl who will fight for what she loves. I'm the girl who needs to be loved but left unknown.

Tonight

Dark. Touch. Kiss. Lips. Smiles. Breath. Hands. Wondering. Was the choice right. Realizing. This moment is what WE! were waiting for. Sparks. Joy. Screams. More. Of it all. Hard. Breath, Eyes meet. Love locks. Kiss. Won't tell. Wanting more from both ends. You. Needing. Me wanting. Continually. Never ending..... Love. Love is all I need. But. You need to be the one I love.

Childhood Friend

That one person I used to be close with. We were young, we had fun, we were just dumb. But then he had to go, he left. I was lost without him. I couldn't deal with missing a friend. I missed as he would call it our "blond moments." He understood me and how my life worked. He was my childhood friend. He became more of a brother than just any ordinary friend. But then I had to move on, had no choice. He was gone. I do miss him, and our moments. And yet I know he misses them too.

Touch

I need that special touch. The one that makes me grin. Makes me laugh. Makes me want you. One touch. One kiss. Our lips. Tongue. Bodies. Fingers. Run up my leg. Eyes. Go. Wide. Heart. Beats. Faster. Faster..... When. I have. Your special touch. I need more. I want more. I need you. I think you need me. I'm, hoping you want me. In the end. I. Love. And. Want. Your. Touch.

Needing To Get Away

I'm needing to get away. To go to a place where I can be me. But in this psycho world I can't be me. I try and try to be the one person I wanna be that will make me happy for me. That one person is... ME! But I can't live up to everyone's standards and be me at the same time!! Why can't anyone get that? Can anyone get what I'm trying to say? I can make it some what easier for you to understand. I want to be me but if I try that then no one will love me and care....... Even I would hate myself. So I continue on with the day, with a new mask to match the people I'm around, pleasing them, making them happy, while underneath that mask I have the real look, the real me, the real person I want to be. But in the end its all the lies, and people I'll disappoint in the end if I please myself and not everyone else. So really I can't get away. Even then my dreams are being controlled, turning into things I don't wanna dream about, think about, or even talk about. But theres no other choice, besides putting on a new mask each day and continue living THEIR lives.

Sex Night

Bodies. Touch. Soft. Rough. Hurt. No Regret. You say you loved it. Lie. You hated it. Lie. Truth is. It. Was. Amazing. I. Know. You'll. Die. To. Have. Us. One. More. Time. Dark. Dreamy. Love. Beneath. Me. On. Top. Of. You. Can't get of. Kiss. Lips. Neck. That. One. Special. Touch. Goosebumps. Breathe. Loving. Each. Second. Needing. More. I. Can. Give you what you want. You. Can. Give me what I want...


                           Let's relive these moments again.